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Isn't it weird....

Imagine what I'm going through....
this is the first September since I was 2 years old that I'm not going back to school. Sure, I'm taking an online course, but that's not going to feel like school by any stretch of the imagination. There was No back-to-school shopping to signify the end of the summer, No preparation for moving back to RIT, No looking over class schedules and calling friends to see if they are in your classes, No letter class names on the front of folders, No sharpening pencils, No organizing all my supplies, No Nothing.

It is so weird. I feel like time is passing without any way to tell how far I've gone, or how far I've got left to go. There is nothing to mark the time. And next year at this time, I won't even have Winter classes to look forward to. And hopefully where ever I am, I won't have to be looking forward to things. Because that's what I'm doing. Looking forward to rehearsal, looking forward to Opening Night, Looking forward to Mom visiting, Looking forward to moving, Looking forward to going back to RIT, Looking forward to being back with all the people that I miss.

Is that just how it will always be? What happened to being able to live in the moment and just enjoy living? I used to be able to do that. With IBM, I just can't. It's just the wrong job, the wrong atmosphere, the wrong people with the wrong attitudes. Everything is wrong. *sigh* 10 more weeks! That's all! And with the show to distract me 'til the middle of October, I will make it.

And now I'm going to work on my website and listen to music (and since I'm the only one home, I will of course be singing at the top of my lungs). :-D

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
memeslayer
Sep. 4th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
I feel kind of bad for having pushed you to take this job. Sorry! I hope it at least ends up being a useful learning experience.
tenthz
Sep. 4th, 2004 12:37 pm (UTC)
Don't feel bad, I shouldn't have listened to ya. :-P
hehe... no, really, work sucks, but all the other stuff is cool enough.
lordxyyndragon
Sep. 4th, 2004 03:17 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean :( it's so weird being on co-op when everyone else here is taking classes... I wake up at 5:30, and the earliest they wake up is like, 11 :P

mountainheather
Sep. 4th, 2004 06:35 pm (UTC)
I had the exact same thing with the whole, "can't wait for this, for that, for the other thing..." last Spring. I had to write it down, keep starting @ it, to know there was something worthwhile that was going to happen down the road.
Not a good feeling. 8-\ ::hugs ya 'till ya can scarcely breathe:: 8-Þ
And Whoo for having the show! I listened to it nearly all the way here. 8-}
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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