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Weeeeee!

It's been a while since I've posted anything, and in lieu of an insightful or informative post, I will post a really bad pun. :-)


Two highways are sitting in a bar, having a drink. In walks a piece of
pink tarmac. The highways cower under a table. The pink tarmac has a
drink and leaves. When the highways return to the bar, an incredulous
patron asks, "Why did you guys hide from the pink tarmac?" "Are you
kidding?" asks a highway. "That guy's a cycle path!"

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
quilynn
Apr. 25th, 2005 01:38 am (UTC)
While trying to find out what a "pink tarmac" is, I ran across...

1.) Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2.) Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went two Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other one stayed behind. He never amounted to much and became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3.) There were two Eskimos sitting in a kayak. They were cold, so they lit a fire to stay warm. The boat sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4.) A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. Sliding up to the bar, he announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
5.) Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
6.) A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out off the office and asked them to disperse. "But, why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7.) A woman has twins had gives them up for adoption. One twin goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a photo of Ahmal. Her husband replied, "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8.) These friars were behind in the payments on their belfry, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise some extra money. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good brothers to close down their shop, but they refused. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest most vicious thug in town to persuade them to close. Hugh obliged, beat up the friars and trashed their store. He informed the brothers that he would be back if they did not close up shop. Terrified, they did just that, proving that Hugh, and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9.) Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked around barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him very frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10.) And finally, there was this person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
wickedneon_ride
Apr. 25th, 2005 03:11 am (UTC)
[groan] 10 was my favorite
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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